Recently I took off the last 10 or so pounds that made the difference between moving comfortably and dreading to get dressed in the morning. It was more than health or vanity this time. My body & I have not been very nice to each other, with the cancer and all. I thought I was mostly doing the right things, but apparently it wasn't enough. Hell, I'm even exercising a few times a week. I could be on to something.
I cleaned out my closet of anything that didn't make me feel absolutely wonderful. It narrowed that secret division between the "fat clothes" and the smaller sized collection I've hoarded for the day I got back to my comfortable weight. If I truly loved a piece from an in-between zone, I had it altered.
I never thought these words would come from me, but I have enough clothes.
Everything in my closet fits me.
For the sake of every woman over 30, I want to see more information for US. All the fashion blogs show adorable youngsters in fabulous outfits, but hmmmmm... not always what I feel would fit my lifestyle.
What's the frame of reference for baby boomers? We are creating the "new 30... 40..." How do we look great and still dress appropriately for our body type? I don't know that "age appropriate" is the right phrase any more regarding clothes. i.e. There are teens whose body shape should NOT be wearing short skirts, and women over 50 that are so fit that they can.
I loved the "Ten Years Younger" series on TLC. It took real people and made them look their best.
It's not all that much work, taken in stages. This is what I think are the basics:
1. A flattering, easy hair style. I know it sounds insane, but the inevitable chemo hair loss scared me more than the cancer diagnosis. It turned out that losing my hair was both freeing and inspiring. I was always so hesitant to get my hair cut too short. Not that I recommend it, but starting with a clean, bald head certainly gave me a different perspective. Instead of choosing a 'do from magazines with people that I can ever aspire to resemble, I looked at pictures of me - and my various hairstyles over the years. Here's a daring move - Ask your stylist what she/he thinks would look good for YOU.
2. For God's sake, put on a little makeup. And don't tell me you don't have time in the morning. It takes 5 minutes or less to create look that prevents me from scaring people for the rest of the day. Have someone who knows what they are doing help you with colors so you don't waste time or money. Whether it's Mary Kay, a Nordstrom's counter or a salon, you'll spend less of both in the long run.
3. Get fitted for the right size bra! It is the best wardrobe investment you can make. Nothing will look good on you if your bra doesn't fit right. The right bra can take years and pounds off your appearance. I'll bet you a nickle that if you've never been fitted, you are wearing the wrong size. If you are in the Folsom Roseville area, go to Yve's Fine Lingerie. If not, find an expert that has pretty stuff up to size J.
Is this vain? Maybe. I don't care about being the hottest babe in the room. I feel an extra little kick when I look my best. It's fun. It gives me energy. When I have energy I feel more creative, more connected with everyone around me. Hmmmm... nice.
I want to hear from both sides - what is your outward presentation? Why?
A little bit of vanity here and there is healthy. It reflects self love and taking care of oneself, and that's a good thing. (it can of course be totally exaggerated too but I think that clothes that fit perfectly and suit your own personal shape that is given to you by nature are an absolute happiness factor. If you feel comfortable and attractive in your clothes, that certainly has a bit of an impact on how you feel in general! And hell, I could tell you stories about finding the right kinda bra. You only just realize when you found it when you finally KNOW how it feels to wear one tht actually really fits greatly!
ReplyDeleteGreat post! thx for sharing!
The following is a note from a patient that requested anonymity (thank you for the comment!).
ReplyDeleteFor about 6 months after an injury, I was in excruciating pain. I was on muscle relaxers, pain pills and medicated to the point where I couldn't even drive. I would dress in sweats & a T-shirt, no makeup, and go to physical therapy 3 times a week. I was in so much pain that I THOUGHT I didn't care how I looked, but I was wrong.
I found that when I did take the little extra effort to put on a little makeup - even just lipstick and/or some mineral powder - I felt like I was treated differently. It seemed that the therapists were happier to see me and commented that I was looking better.
When I would go into stores, I was greeted and offered assistance rather than having to look for someone to assist me. In general, people seemed more courteous and I did not feel so invisible in my cloak of pain.
My recovery was slow & I still do have a fair amount of pain daily, but I always smile, dress and primp with makeup so that I will project the best "me" to receive the best from others. It works like a charm.
Why do we buy art/go to museums? Why do we landscape our yards and spend hours weeding and deadheading our precious plants? Our eye looks to beauty. Beauty calms us, inspires us, makes us smile. I am not a neuroscientist, so I can't tell you about the brain chemistry, but I can tell you that I FEEL better when I am put together. When I was recovering from all the surgeries connected with my breast cancer, I did the best I could each day to get dressed, fix my hair and put on a little make-up. As soon as I was able, I started daily walks to put the glow back in my cheeks. The value of keeping oneself up should not be underrated. I'm not talking about face lifts and botox (although I respect each woman's decision). I think all of your suggestions are spot-on.
ReplyDeleteThank you Laurie for your insight and honesty.
Another email from a friend:
ReplyDeleteI am 62 & have had chronic pain most of my life. If we can not take a few minutes to dab SOMETHING on our faces [the only thing that does not hurt most days] then why even get dressed? I mean...JUST WALK AROUND BUTT NAKED! We would NEVER consider going outside without our cloths, would we? It really is that basic if you have the right mind set. My mom taught me early on, "If you're not having a good day, just PRETEND to be happy & soon you will feel better." That's the way I see make-up - pretending to feel better by being able to look in a mirror & say "Well you look damn good!!" I learned how to put my make-up on while lying in bed. Now that's dedication & it just plain makes me & others around me feel a little better. And that makes for a better day all around. Don't cha' think? Bless you all with more make-up & healthier days. Lori
I love the "For God's sake" put on some make-up. I force myself. Because I know when I feel pretty, I definitely am more confident. Good for you.
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